I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO CALL THIS - by O'Shanel Eppes

I DON'T  KNOW  WHAT  TO  CALL THIS  by  O'Shanel Eppes I’m tired of trying. I’m tired of crying. I don’t have any fight left in me. I’m so over it. I gave you all of me & you don’t seem to notice. I gave you the best of me & you don’t seem to care. I gave you everything. I’m not going to make you out To be the bad guy or anything. At first you were amazing. Then you got comfortable. You started to have an “idc” attitude. You just brush me off like lint. You toss me off to the side Like an old, dirty sock. Throw me away like a used napkin. Do you know how I feel? I have no more tears left to cry. I’m all dried out. Everything I say to you is a lie? I can’t make you believe me. I won’t. Not anymore. I’m done. Are you that insecure? Are you that hurt? How do you think I feel? Do you consider that? I didn’t think so. I love you. That scares me the most. You say you love me too. Do you really? If this is what love feels like, I want out. From what I know This isn’t love. Love is truthful and happy. Not lying and misery. I love you and I hate that. Sometimes we have the best times, Other times I wonder, “Why are we even doing this?” I can’t take it anymore. You’re so indecisive. One day you want me to be with you forever. You want me to be your wife. You can’t live without me. The next day you never want to see me again. You don’t want anything to do with me. This isn’t love. If this is what love feels like I want out. No I don’t. I can’t give up. I care about you too much. You have issues and I do too. We’ll work on this together. As long as you’re willing. I’m not going anywhere. I’m here to stay. “I love you.” “I love you too.”